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Laptop [25 Jul 2006|03:20am]
[ mood | happy ]

So, my dad finally agreed to get a macbook. I'll be getting a MacBook 2.0GHz Intel Core Duo-Black, with 1GB 667 DDR2 SDRAM - 2x512, 80GB Serial ATA drive, and SuperDrive (DVD±RW/CD-RW), and 13.3 inch widescreen display. We also bought a printer (Canon PIXMA MP500 Photo All-in-One), The Apple protection plan , Microsoft office 2004, and a 30G ipod (you get a free nano with the macbook, but for $90 more you get a 30G). Overall it ends up being $1850 after the 300+ I get on rebates. After all the shoping and looking around my dad and me did, my dad finally saw that we'd get the most out of the money with a mac.
Since my dad wants me to build some decent credit history, he decided we'd wait till my 18th birthday so I can get an Apple Credit Account and make monthly payments. My dad'll give me money to pay it off. less than 2 weeks.... i'm excited. I'll be back in Tally on the 16th =).

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post-surgical scare... don't read if squiemish. [24 Jul 2006|03:45am]
[ mood | scared ]

So, its been 9 days since I had my Tonsillectomy and things seemed to be going well. After I had a bit of a snack, I went to wash out my mouth and flush the tonsil area. Well, when I did that I noticed it was blood that came out... and that continued to come out. for a duration of about 10 minuets, I spit up about 2-3 cups of blood and probably ingested 1. After a couple minuets of bleeding, I got my mom up. Well, I shook her awake, told her to come before I bolted out because my mouth was full of blood. We were about to go to the emergency room, but then the tonsil stoped pouring out blood. I guess what happend was the scabs on the former tonsils got ripped off and the blood couldn't clot because I was washing out my mouth with water. However, it was supose to be normal for the scabs to come off alot earlier, and I had never had any blood.
Well, let me say that is scared me shitless-scariest 15 minuets of my life. I hate recovering from surgery, ugh

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Yay for the good doctor and his good drugs! [14 Jul 2006|01:03pm]
[ mood | Paaaaain ]

So, just got my tonsils taken out yesterday.... finally! They've been bugging me for the past few years, but the doctors kept on saying its 'normal'. Well, it wasn't normal when you can't sleep at night because they cut off your air

not cool.

But yea.... got my wisdom teeth pulled 2.5 weeks before. Talk about a fucked up summer. Fortunantly, my mommy has been playing a great doctor mom. She rocks my world... I'll miss her greatly =/. Soooo, after having anestesia twice, I must say Thankgoodness for it. in 5 seconds, I was out. Yaaay for pain meds! I usually don't take any medicine, even if I have a headache, but I'm tottaly digging this codine stuff. there are a few things I've learned in the last 3 weeks when you have surgery:
Frozen Custard=food of choice after a tonsilectamy
DVR+digital cable=endless possibilitys and no boredom from being home for a week.
Traveling a week after you get all 4 wisdom teeth yanked=hell
Grisom from CSI=genious
Hot bathes=ZZzzzz

So yea, hope you all learned something. The doctor told my mom that they had to go really deep in order to get out all of the tonsil. This is going to change the way I sing, because I'll finally have space in my throat. goodbye beastly-low alto II notes? Oi

Ritter's Frozen Strawberry Cheesecake Custard=the elixer of life!

Save me from boredome, talk to me online: xtoyzrusxkidx.
oh, some advice.... whats the best laptop to get for college? I really want to get a Mac, but is it really worth the extra money you have to pay?

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hmm, shot in the gum or a needle through the hand? [19 Jun 2006|01:03am]
[ mood | chipper ]

So I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled on the 26th. Yea... not looking forward to it, but it needs to be done! I have the choice of either getting a shot in my gum to make my mouth go numb... remaining consious the whole time they cut my gum and gank the teeth. Ooooor, I can get an IV in my hand and get knocked out (anestesia). However, before I get an IV, I can't eat or drink anything for 6 hours before surgery and I have the bad withdrawals. I'm tempted to take the IV, just so I don't have to be conscious. Yeaaaa, the whole thing about getting shots scares me shitless- I had a bad experiance when I was in the hospital with aseptic meningitis in 92' (I was 4). IVs.... yech.

Anywho! Things have been going great here in Kzoo. I've been back since sunday and have enjoyed everything so far. The day I got back, there was a blockparty in my parent's neighboorhood. Now, there are about 25 homes in our street, with around 30-40 kids, aging from newborn to 8 years old. I am by far the oldest, hahaaa. One of the kids saw my henna and asked if he could get some. to make a long story short, I ended up hennaing around 25 kids with some simple designs with my stale henna in the freezer. Even though the stain was poor, all the kids loved it... in fact 2 of them came to my door the next day with thankyou card they made, featuring pictures of me hennaing them. They also attached a dollarbill and 4 silver dollars to the card with clear tape. Needless to say, I was very touched... all the kids around the nieghboorhood are very sweet and well behaved kids. Its funny because they idolize me - they come to my door every other day or so to see if I can play with them (they're 6 years old... 1/3 my age!) and the things that they say are just priceless. Along with stealing the kid's hearts, I've also made a great impression with the parents, which spells alot of henna and babysitting gigs =). Looks like I'll never be quiet alone or busy.

I love it... its refreshing to see kids that don't act like snotty brats or give a bad attitude. Hmm... looks like I have my work cut out for me =D.

oh... and please do this for me.... what describes me? it won't take but a couple minuets

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madness [12 May 2006|01:11am]
[ mood | okay ]

ugh... getting..sick..of..bullshit.

So, I've seemed to have lost my Ipod... which has over 3.5 years of my henna work stored on there not to mention lots of important documents and files. I really am quiet perturbed about this because It literally disapeared. Right now I'm trying to remain calm and collected about it and just be optimistic (false, yes, but right now I need hope).

I found out today that there is a rumor suposidly circulating around that I gave head to a band member? Thats pretty cute, considering I never did more than hug him. Yea, I did spend the night with him, but it was more like crashed over at a house with a bunch of other people after their performance. There was literally 10 people there, 5 of which were in the living room, and yes I'm sure I didn't do anything. Ok, well I did sleep on the futon beside him, but that can't possibly count as giving head? Sorry, but I don't do that kind of stuff. Oral is not my kind of thing, thankyou. I don't do it as a recreational activity or as something for shits and giggles. Though to some people it seems of little seriousness, I look at it as something very very personal and not something to hand out. The funniest part is that I find out about this rumor 2 months after if happens. That just makes it even more laughable, because it is now brought up. Good lord... I spend the night with guys all the time, mostly its completly inocent and platonic and most of the time theres a bunch of people there. Not the most romantic thing having a ton of people around. anything sexual, be it kissing or something else is personal... and not to be told to every Jane and Joe. I keep to myself about my non-existant sex life (well, more like my sexual life). Its not everyone's buisness if I kissed someone... i hardley tell ANYONE about any kind of fooling around (and if so its not in detail or by name)
It just never ceases to amaze me about how dependant people are on drama and starting shit up that really doesn't concern them. I'm a very sexual person, yes theres no denying it. However, I place alot of selfcontrol in myself and don't let things go beyond the belt. I'm a chaste person and intend to keep it that way, thankyou.

So, alot of my friends have been talking about getting married or how serious they are with their boy/girl friend. I can't help but sit here and laugh. Sorry, but we are afterall pretty damn young to be thinking about spending the rest of our life with someone. getting married when your still in highschool... theres so much more that we need to experiance before talking about that. we still have over 4/5ths of our life to live and to think that a relationship will last that long is just amusing. Theres so much more growing up to do and so much more to experiance before taking the plunge. Its just baffleing how we try and grow up so fast and plan our future when we still are dependant on our parents.

Well, theres some of my rambles and rants for the day


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[06 May 2006|11:25pm]
Your Observation Skills Get A B-

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time)
And it takes something big to distract you!

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.

In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.
Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.
Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.
No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.
Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.
A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul
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Good news! Instate resident! [10 Apr 2006|10:42pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

my guidence couselor talked to FSU, and they agreed that I don't deserve to loose the oppertunity for a college education just because my parents moved away. So, they are going to consider me a Florida Resident =). because FSU considers me a florida resident, Bright Futures will follow suit. So, as you can see.... life has turned completly in my favor. Thanks be to God, for i'm extreamly greatfull for this oppertunity. Thanks everyonefor all your continious support and love. It's the one thing that has kept me sane (for the most part). Love to all!


pee ess: Go NOLES!!! Class of 2010 =).

7 comments|post comment

Fighting for the right to learn [05 Apr 2006|11:32pm]
[ mood | scared ]

A rude awakening. Reality hits me full in the face and relization swells through my veins: everything I worked for went to nothing.

I called up FSU to see what I can do about being considered a resident of Florida for Bright Futures. They told me that, by law, there was no way to consider me a resident of Florida... all because my parents dont live here. If that is true, that means that I get no Bright Futures, I get no In-state tuition. instead of the 2,400 I would GET from FSU a year, I'd have to pay 15,000 dollars in tuition alone.
And to think that 24 hours ago, I was dreaming about how I would be on my own, going to college and being able to make my own decisions about my future. I wanted to be a Biology major... just 2 days ago I was looking at what classes I would have to take, I mean I was looking forward to it. I was excited to learn, to get started, to get my future in line. I wanted to be in the FSU Circus, to do choir and to get involved in a bunch of clubs... to be apart of a community and to live my life on my terms. I was dreaming of getting my Bachelors in Biology for Pre-Professional Health and joining Peace Corp for 2 years. I had so much I wanted to do. Now it feels as though all the work I've done to get back here, the work I've done to get into college, the courses I took, the studying for the SAT has gone to nothing. Those dreams... those plans... those oppertunities. gone. I looked into TCC, but TCC is $200 a credit hour for outstate while instate is $50.

However, I shall not loose hope. I won't move back to Michigan unless I must. I'll take a year off and work in order to be considered a resident if I have to... I've done too much to quit now. I'll protest at the capital, make tons of calls, get the media involved if I have to. I moved out because I wanted to have a future, I moved back because I thought that my hard work would mean something. I did something for myself for once... theres no stopping me. I WILL go to FSU and get instate tuition... I refuse to pay outstate just because my dad had to move.

I refuse to give in.

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ride the spiral to the end [08 Mar 2006|10:55pm]
I've come to a point where it feels like theres no where I belong. feeling so alone, feeling out of place. Everything spirals but no one notices it. People I loved and respected now make me feel like just something to make fun of. I'm not the same... my confidence left me with a feeling of unaccomplishment with the feeling that i'm not good enough. I sit here empty, no one here to spark inspiration or to make me feel like i'm alive. Its been a feeling thats been accumulating. I've come to relize that it's become a problem for me, that theres been a leek in the will to keep going. theres nothing motivating me, nothing driving me to keep trying to do my best. anything that I thought was there in friendships is just bullshit- all I feel like i am now is someone to poke fun at, to just make fun of. yea, i can only take so much. I'm at my breaking point, where life is the same thing: go to school, just waiting for the day to end, get home only to yearn for the weekends, and the weekends there and gone.
what is it about me that others don't even look at me as a person where i'm under a microscope. Feeling naked, ugly, vulnerable, stupid, atrocious, a failure, worthless, unwanted.
Theres no one for me to turn to... no one to let me lay my head in their lap and talk to.

make me feel again. I need to feel wanted, loved, beautifull, noticed, appreciated, like I'm there.
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Woot! good news [23 Feb 2006|07:52am]
[ mood | jubilant ]

So.... I got my SAT scores, and not only am I eligable for Bright Futures 100%, but I'm also qualified for the honors program at FSU! My SAT score when from a 1220 to a 1350... thats 50 points more than the honors program requires and 80 points over the bright futures requirement. ::does happy dance:: I thought I did shitty, but thank God I've got that out of the way.

The opening for the High School Art Exhibit is March 2nd, from 6:00-7:30. I'm a participant in there.... wish me luck!

Hopefully I'll get the job at Target... the girl was saying that as long as they have enough hours to give me, I'd have a job.

There was my quick update... love to all

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how? [06 Jan 2006|07:33pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

how could you do this to me; leave me out here in the cold, dissapear and not leave a note?

You dissapeared once and that was hard enough; trusting you was hard on it's own.

I talked about you in the utmost respected, looked to you as my muse for success. I held you in the highest regard, made you a priority. Things started to crumble and you run away, You've always been good at doing it. Didn't think you'd run again. boy was I an idiot. things started to look a bit shakey and you get scared off. How could you say you care and respect me when you fucking leave me when i'm already struggling with life. Coward.

You said I could trust you, I told you not to have me make a fool of myself and tell me if its too fast. All you did is left a note as you rode your motorcycle away.

How could you fucking do this to me? I need you now more than ever and all I get is the task of cleaning up the pieces of what was and what can never be.
I fell for the same trick twice, but this time I fell for you as well. I cared about you, held you when you had a nightmare, stayed up for a couple hours for you your call just to see how your day was, because you ment that much to me. I thought I ment something like that to you, that I was someone special. But how can you do this to someone special, someone you said you like and cared about?

Fucking coward. I'm moving on, I'm living my life, and I'm not settling down for anyone.

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Flashes of me [17 Dec 2005|08:15pm]
Here are some self portraits. Self timer is my friend
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[05 Dec 2005|12:30am]
[ mood | loved ]

So, I've been in Tallahassee for over a couple of weeks now. Lots of exciting things have happend =).
-freaked out half the school by coming back. There were many interesting rumors that started flying around
-Getting back into Choir and performing at the Women in Song concert
-going with Jeremy for a photography trip at the beach (you can see the works herehttp://jeremyfe.deviantart.com/gallery/)
-Going with the Grahams to spend time with their family in Ocala
-Going to the Cold concert
-Seeing old friends again and hanging out with people randomly in the middle of the night
-Getting back into henna and getting better with Bodypaint
-Going to Aladin's palace and possible getting a job there doing henna a couple nights a week
-Getting into my first relationship in over 2 years with Rhett =)
-Getting to know Rhett better and spending time with him and his friends
-Watching all these opertunities unfold before my fingertips.

I miss my mommy and my family... i'll be in Michigan from the 20th thru the 30th... dad bought me tickets =).

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Amazing. simply beautifull [17 Nov 2005|12:49am]
[ mood | refreshed ]

Today was a first- it was the first time i have ever seen snow =). When I was saying goodbye to everyone in my 4th hour class (we were in the lobby playing hand chimes... that was fun!) Someone anounces its snowing. After I said my final goodbyes, I ran outside and held my hands out. It might have melted right when it reached my fingertips, but it was snow. The whole day was an emotional rollercoaster for me, saying goodbyes, exchanging final hugs, turning in my books, and my teachers telling the class that I'm moving back to Florida. It was sad, but at the end of the day I felt at peace with the city. So, later in the night I go out to hang out with a friend who I wasn't able to see in a while. I snuck out of the house for a couple hours... sitting and watching movies while outside, snow was falling. just indescribable. Then when I got back home around midnight, the snow was a couple inches thick when I walked to the front door. My footsteps etched deep into the dying grass untill the wind came to erode them away.
So, I got my wish! I was able to see snow for the first time in my life. And what better time than my last day at school =).

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Yea... another post =) [15 Nov 2005|11:07am]
Grr... my tonsils are pissing me off! They've swolen up to the point where I can't breath at night or eat that much food. Went to the doctor, and this one FINALLY agreed that these puppies need to be taken out. Gee, after 5 years... it's taken that long to find someone who agrees with me on that. They have never been this big before! They've had a bunch of odd stuff going on with them and have been gettng bigger as I grow older, but this is insane. So, therefore... i'm staying at home, because there is no way for me to sleep longer than an hour without waking up and gasping for breath, finding a new position and then going back to sleep only to repete the process yet again.
It's odd, because I've never been sick so much. I've had about 10 absences so far at Portage, mainly from sickness. I think it has alot to do with the stress of moving, stress of assholes (aka dad), stress of school, and stress of the people at school. Yea.. no fun. I'm so glad to be getting back into Tallahassee... I leave Thursday =) and get in around Friday at 1 AM. Ahh, civilization, here I come!! There is literally nothing to do around here except to drink, get plastered, go to sport events, be involved in school clubs, or hang out with people. No offense to anyone, but people in Kalamazoo are so damn cold- they have all their cliques and all their little groups and aren't really willing to help someone out, Well, a few people are, and thankyou to all those who have. Ahh... Tallahassee=serenity. I'm so happy to get back home =).
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[15 Nov 2005|10:58am]
List five songs that you currently love.
It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now.
Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs in your blog.
Then tag five other livejournal friends to see what they're listening to.
1. No Address - Walk Away
2. Weep No More - David Childs (we're singing it in Choir... gotta love the F sharp below middle C!)
3. Theory of a Deadman - Santa Monica, In the Middle, and Last Song
4. Led Zeppelin - Gallows Pole, and That's the Way it Ought to be
5. Billy Joel - Piano Man

I tag... Jeremy, Penguin, Jon, Willohawk, and Frado =)
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::drools:: joygasmic [14 Nov 2005|03:44pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

This has got to be the hottest thing I've seen in a while...
Read more...Collapse )

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[11 Nov 2005|12:28am]
You are a

Social Liberal
(76% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(36% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test
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My Final Plans [10 Nov 2005|04:48pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Ok, everything is pretty much finalized: my last day in Kalamazoo is the 17th and my last day in school is Wednesday. First- I'm going to take the greyhound to Chicago. My grandma didn't want me traveling on the bus for safety reasons so she was going to buy a plane ticket, but it would have been too complicated to get a decently price flight from Kzoo to Tallahassee in less than a week. So, I'm taking the plane from Chicago to Jacksonville, and I have a friend who will pick me up from the airport and drive me back to Tallahassee. I should be back home early Friday morning, and will be staying with my friend's family who is zoned for Chiles. My mom and I are getting the letters noterized for my temporary guardianship change tomarro, and I'm buying the bus ticket tomarro.
Thankyou, once again, for all the support, guidence and love you all have given me. To everyone in Tally, I'll see you soon and I miss you all like mad! Thankyou to all the people in k-zoo who have tried to make me feel at home, and its nothing personal on any of your part, but a combination of things that is driving me to move back home.
Love always

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Wow... what a wild weekend [06 Nov 2005|11:09pm]
Don't have enough time to post all the details, but my weekend entailed a henna confrence in Ohio. There were about 10-15 women there, and I must say that I learned alot, saw alot, and did alot of new things.

Meeting people I've talked to online for over 3 years.
going over some stuff for my designbook.
learning how to use indigo.
having the police take your statement at 3 in the morning for a druggie staying in a room above you.
being the only artist under 20, as most of the women had kids older than me.
meeting the person who supplies my henna supplies.
meeting the people who have inspired me for so long.
watching a huge tree get blown over.
seeing more tits in one night than most men would see in a lifetime.
hennaing my first set of boobs.
getting my chest and belly hennad.
posing for a new design in an artists upcoming designbook.
hennaing all night long.
watching the process for publishing, batiqueing, indigo, gilding, and gemwork.
running around halfnaked to make sure the henna didn't get messed up and trying to stay out of the webcam all the while.

Yea.. stuff like that.
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